A few weeks ago I was with a new group of women. We were all talking, sharing and encouraging each other along this difficult journey called, life. Suddenly the conversation began to take a very sour turn. Before I knew it tissues and tears had made a grand appearance and there was a very somber tone in what started out as an uppity group.
I was a little confused at this sudden twist in our conversation. The truth was though, several of the women were upset about how Christians are being viewed in this world. They expressed their frustrations with friends, neighbors and family members that didn’t believe in the same God who they loved so much. Story after story was told about how mistreated as a Christian they were in their circle of social influence.
My heart started feeling sick. And I knew I had to say something. Being new to this group, I really didn’t want to step on any one’s toes the first day we were together but finally, the need to speak up overtook this girl. So I politely began to share with these women how ridiculous I found this conversation.
Yes, it wasn’t received well at first.
But I went further on to say that we (meaning Christians: followers of Christ) have no one to blame for the world’s view of our culture but ourselves. For so many years we (Christians) have been the ones to point the finger of judgement, shame, guilt and condemnation. Why would we expect other’s to view us any different that they do?
We sit in prayer circles and share gossip, hate and feel this great need to condemn others for their sins. Church leaders roam through the streets feeling the need to enforce the laws of God, like He needs us to be His police officers or something. Bloggers write ridiculous posts about the right to judge and say things like it’s our God-given responsibility.
How wrong we have been.
What I shared with my new friends that day is we have no one but ourselves to blame for the great turn-off to what it looks like to be a follower of Christ.
But I am convinced more than ever there is a fresh new wave flowing through the land of the United States. People are choosing to speak out on this topic, to raise the Christian flag and call it truce on behalf of the body of Christ. To simply say the words, “I”m sorry you have been treated that way, it’s a failed misrepresentation of who God is.”
I have been on both spectrum’s: the mistreated as well as the mistreating. Guilty as charged. But my eyes are opened. I see what needs to happen for God’s people to return to His love, His kindness, His goodness and His grace. And it has to start with me, in my home, in my life, in my representation of Christ.
I want so much more for my life and the lives of those around me than just a get-out-of-hell card through salvation. Salvation is the greatest gift He could have ever offered us, but there is a full, abundant life found in the arms of Jesus. Purpose, plans, desires and a wild ride is apart of it. Being a follower of Christ isn’t easy, no way. And representing Him in a way that is good, pleasing and found to be desirable in the eyes of others is even more difficult.
But, in Him, all things are possible. In Him, there is more grace. And in Him, there is more love.
And while I know the news headlines are filled with lot’s of doom and gloom, I believe the best days are ahead of us. I believe great things are coming. I believe cities all across America are about to explode with the love of Christ. And I believe that we all have an amazing opportunity to jump on board and be apart of this amazing movement of God.
I’m in. Are you?
Excellent post, Nicki. I think you hit the nail on the head. I heard a quote once on Revive Our Hearts ~ “The Church is waiting for the world to get right with God, but the world is waiting for the Church to repent.” It seems ever more accurate.
I love that quote Tammi. 100% right on!
Wow, Nicki! You are speaking with power and courage! I admire your ability to speak up in that situation. And I agree with your thoughts. If Jesus walked the earth today I don’t think He’d be a Democrat…or a Republican. I think He’d love all of the people that “Christians” have barred the door to. He’d preach changed hearts not moral living. We are sinners saved by grace. Grace that is so incredibly amazing, forgiving, inclusive and loving.
Blessings to you!
Kelli, I agree…and I think once people begin to understand the grace of God they want to turn their ways! Miss you!! 🙂
Re: KelliGirl…..but don’t you think that changed hearts cause people to live moral? And sin must be pointed out to sinners because Jesus Himself said that He “came to save sinners”. Yes, we are all sinners saved by grace. I hope that I come across to people as loving sinners and yet hating the sin. What really bothers me are instances of when I’m witnessing to people who are committing gross immoral sins and who claim to not only be Christians but “close to God”. That just doesn’t jive. We have to love sinners. But we can’t take on the “tolerance” cloak that most of the liberal world is wearing these days.
Just speakin my piece.
Thanks…..
Marilyn…in Mississippi
Marilyn, I so appreciate you speaking up here. And, I do understand what you are trying to say. The only thing I respectfully disagree with what you are saying is that you state that some people are committing “gross immoral sins that are Christians and claim to be close to God”. I realize that for a long time within our Christian culture there have been “level” of sins. But the bible really states that all sins are the same in Gods eyes. Whether I look at my neighbor with envy in my heart or I abort a child, or steal or whatever…the Lord really looks at it all the same. And that is what causes us to have a great need for a Savior to die on a cross for us. My “yuck” is the same as anyone else’s yuck, it’s what keeps me from the righteousness of God.
It is a very difficult line as you said to “hate the sin -love the sinner” but…I don’t believe we are called to judge other’s sins. I think that being bold does require speaking out on issues that the bible is clear about but doing it in a loving way. In a way that speaks, “I want the best for you” rather than “I don’t like who you are”.
Thanks for sharing your heart today!
I’m sorry if I came across sounding like I try to make people think “I don’t like who you are” instead of “I want the best for you” ! Actually, I don’t treat people bad. I work in a pregnancy testing center and see a LOT of stuff. I try to let the girls see my concern for them. I NEVER say to them that I don’t like who they are! I more often than not tell them…with tears in my eyes….that they deserve better than they are treating themselves…….that God has a special plan and purpose for their life and that they are cheating themselves when they turn away from Him and live in immorality. Also I explain to them the grave dangers of STD’s. I really, really, really CARE about these girls and any other people that I come in contact with. They seem to be able to feel my concern because many of them tell me before they leave…”I’m so glad it was you I got to talk with!”….and if they sign up for parenting classes they want to come to mine. I’m just sayin…..I try to show them from Scripture what God says. If they are saved I tell them that nothing they can do will ever separate them from eternal life in God but what they do sure can mess up their fellowship with Him.
I know what you’re saying about sin being sin no matter what form it comes in when you said…”Whether I look at my neighbor with envy in my heart or I abort a child, or steal or whatever…the Lord really looks at it all the same.”. But I say that at the same time if lost people don’t realize that they are sinners, how can they ever repent and be saved?
Marilyn, I was reading a blog a couple of days ago by a well-known author who had visited a church that was very open to all people. In the congregation were open homosexuals, unwed mothers, etc. The church announced that it was open to all. That’s great! What a great outreach to those who don’t know and understand the forgiveness, grace and mercy of Jesus! But the church was not only open to them, but understanding, tolerant of any lifestyle. They didn’t try to lovingly point out that living a life for God meant living a changed life. Repent means to turn away from. And while I whole-heartedly agree with Nicki that all sin is equal in God’s eyes, it all separates us from Him, I also whole-heartedly agree with you that we can’t just turn a blind eye to sin. We don’t judge others, as in convict them of sin. Jesus directed those who were without sin to cast the first stone at the adulterous woman, and He was the only One who fit that category. He chose to forgive. But, Paul does direct us to help our fellow believers. A truly repentant heart wants to abide in Christ. We can’t do that unless we repent, turn away from, our sin. We are to be heartbroken for what breaks God’s heart, which is sin. We DO need to hate sin, but love the sinner. If we sit by and say, “Oh, it’s not my place to judge! I’ll just go about my business and live and let live.” then we undermine the Great Commission. We, as Christians, do have a bad reputation as standing in judgement of the world. That is something that we all need to work on collectively. But we have to still lovingly point others toward Jesus and away from sin.
I understand most of what you said but how does an “unwed mother” remedy her situation? She is not living in constant sin like the homosexual unless she is living with her boyfriend. And if that is the case then her sin is fornication and not being a mother.
I’m just not understanding why these women were grouped into the mix.
So sorry, Jen! In an effort to be concise, I haven’t explained what I was talking about! The church that the author spoke of printed a poem in its bulletin that welcomed everyone: married, single, divorced, all races, all political parties (Kind of a “red and yellow black and white, they are precious in His sight” poem). He mentioned that looking around the church, he saw all manner of dress and hair style, tattoos, piercings. The church is making an honest effort to include those groups who have been ignored, condemned or forgotten by the “traditional” Christian church. To me, these are just the types of people Nicki was talking about who feel that the church and Christians have been too judgemental. This church isn’t feeling sorry for themselves but trying to reach the unreached, the turned away and the turned off.
Wendy, first thanks for stopping by and speaking up. I appreciate your view…and I do understand where you are coming from. However, this post was generated from a conversation with women who were sorta…”feeling bad” for themselves because of the way the world views Christians.
Really, an entirely different post is needed for our reactions to eachother WITHIN the body of Christ. Although, and this is from personal experience, there is way to much condemning that happens within the walls of the church too.
Jesus said in John 8:7, “He who is without sin cast the first stone.” So I’m sure that you’d agree with me that you and I are not without sin…therefore, it’s up to the Father to convict other’s of their faults…not us. I keep hearing a lot of how Jesus put other’s in their place so why shouldn’t we? Quite frankily, he could…because He was without sin.
My point is that the world is watching us, and they are waiting for a reason to not believe in Christ. And all to often we are the cause. There is a way to be bold…and its by leading by example. When the rest of the world runs in one direction, we go in another because our actions speak louder than our words. It’s by living lives where we give generously, act with audacious faith and represent Christ well.
The great commission is to go and make disciples of all nations…but we are going to have a hard time convincing people about the grace of God if we find ourselves always judging and condemning people for their mistakes.
The thing is, we are all living in constant sin. There are no levels of sin. From God’s perspective all sin is fatal. And its what makes us all equal to the great need for a Savior like Jesus in our life.
I don’t need to hate the sin or judge the sinner. God can take care of that for me. I prefer to live my life with as little judgement as possible. It is also my belief that the Bible has been used for centuries to justify hate of all kinds (slavery, discrimination, and domestic abuse to name a few) and it needs to end.
Sarah, thanks so much for speaking up here. I too have found a lot of freedom in the need to judge as little as possible. And I also agree that the bible has been used as a weapon for way to much.
Hey girl!
I’m proud of you for having the courage to speak out on what you believe. When it comes to the way Christians are viewed by the world, I do want them to know us by our love. Love means action and not just empty platitudes. My lost friends know how I feel about moral issues by the way I live my life. If they ask my opinion, I tell them in a loving but truthful way. I don’t think it’s my job to point out a lost person’s sins to them, but the Bible does tell us to gently restore Believers who have fallen off the path but to do it carefully lest we fall into temptation. Bottom line for me…I’m here to love God and love people, and God will show me how to do that day-by-day and choice-by-choice.
Hey Lee, thanks so much for speaking up here too! Your comment reminds me of what our church, Elevation church here in Charlotte, has written on one of the walls when you walk through the doors. It says, “We will be known for what we are for, not what we are against.”
Wow! I love this post. Thank you. That same wave is flowing through the land of Australia as well. I too have been on the side that has given Christians bad publicity too. But my eyes have been opened too. I love this “But, in Him, all things are possible. In Him, there is more grace. And in Him, there is more love.” I am in. 🙂
I have been mulling over this for quite some time before commenting. I really appreciate Wendy’s words because she brings in the balance. We can tend to see things from only one side, when there are several dimentions. For instance, I have not seen what is conveyed in this post, the “judgementalism” of Christians. Maybe it is the “climate” in Wisconsin… What I have seen is Christians condemning Christians for being judgemental. Where is the grace in that?
When James and John wanted to call down fire from heaven on Samaria for not wanting to allow them to walk through, Jesus rebuked them and then they went on their way. The Bible says, “better an open rebuke than hidden love”. If we truly love people, we wont leave them in a sinful state, because we know that sin kills and sin obscures God’s glory. If we don’t put aside the deeds of the flesh we will die. So there is a place for loving, and yes, sometimes firm rebuke for sin.
I currently have this dilemma: A woman who shops at my store talks about Jesus as her friend. She has had a rough time…her pastor husband of 20-something years, left her for another woman ten or so years ago. Since then, she has been living with an alcoholic man. As I have gotten to know her over the course of time, and we have talked about the Lord, she is well aware of my strong faith. Eventually she left the alcoholic man she was living with and is now living with another. I have focused on getting to know her, listen to her and befriending her.
After she left my shop the last time, I had this sudden rush of “OH MY!…Lord! What if she thinks I approve of what she is doing? She is openly living in sin, and speaking of faith!” The verse in Romans 14 which states, “blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves” came to mind and I began to pray, “Lord, if you want me to say something to her, please give me opportunity and the words.” She is clearly not repentant, and seems to think there is no problem with her living in disobedience to God and still “taking His Name”.
Her daughter is married to a Pastor, and I have mulled over the question of “is it my responsibility as a fellow believer to say something?” My number one priority is to honor and obey God. If He gives me opportunity and the words to talk to this woman, I will have to whether other Christians approve or not.
Those who think that we just need to quietly tolerate people’s sin should read Ezekiel 33. There is a call on some lives to do different kinds of ministry. Look at the Prophets! Their ministry was to call others to repentence and they were looked down on and hated by MOST of those who thought they were “okay with God”.
Jesus said, “If they hated me, they will hate you also”…Jesus was offensive because He was righteous and because He crossed cultural and religious lines. His very existance created tension. We shouldn’t be surprised that ours does….Jesus wasn’t afraid of being obedient. Jesus was gracious, He wasn’t afraid to embrace the sinner who was being drawn by the Father. But he never overlooked sin. Never. He never said, “Go, stay in your sin, I love you no matter what.”
Our goal should never be to look good to the world (or even to each other), but only to do the will of the One who called us. If anyone wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus, they will be persecuted (ie, hated by the world).
For an image of the balance, look at John the Baptist who came to rebuke, and look at Jesus who came to offer mercy. Some are called to ministry in the spirit of Elijah. Some have more mercy ministries. I believe there are times for both in each of our lives.
Do you realize that the Pharisees who were trying to corner Jesus, who ripped the lady out of the bed of her lover and wanted to condemn her did her the greatest favor? She was faced with the cost of her sin that day, brought to the feet of mercy, and received her freedom!!!! Have you ever thought of how wonderful the law was to her that day? She could have died in her sin if not faced with the condemnation that would have come upon her at her death if she hadn’t been brought to face her sin that day….
Kathy, in return..I have “mulled” over your comment. 🙂 First, I am THRILLED that you have not experienced as you put it “the judgementalism” of Christians. Unfortunately, I and many others have.
As I wrote back to Wendy this post was really written out of my concern how we as Christians take it personal how the world views us, when we really have no one to blame but ourselves. We all represent Christ and therefore we do need to speak out when others are not representing Him in a way that glorifies who He is.
I also think that its also important to remember that we are not living under the “law”….we are now living under the grace of what Christ did for all of us. The law of repentance has not been what has set me free from my own life of hurt and failure….but the grace induced gospel is what has.
I agree that your situation with your friend is a tough one and I would encourage you to speak as much truth in love into her life. She will be drawn to your love and acceptance for her and your ability to love her regardless of the choices that she makes. After all…isn’t that exactly what God does for each of us daily? He sees past all the yuck and still calls us His own. His spirit convicts us to turn from our wrong and become more like Him every day. I think once people begin to grab hold of that they want to become all that God intends for them to be.
Thanks for your thoughts. 🙂
Nicki Girl…I love this!!
My spiritual resume is filled and I mean filled with stuff that would make anyone believer or not disgusted. What helped me turn from the Prodigal I had become by choice, was that no matter what I did in my life, I was still loved on by the Christians that chose to not have sin separating them from Jesus.
It’s hard to want the Jesus that the Christians with the Bible in one hand and the pointing finger coming from their other hand have. But to want the Jesus that loves on you no matter what sin is filling you is the Savior this heart desired. The Jesus this former Prodigal ran into the arms of and doesn’t ever want to leave.
Okay…I had to leave and write my own post that spurred my heart Nicki, but I’m back. If you want to read more on my thoughts…www.leliachealey.blogspot.com
Love you girlfriend. Thanks for making me really think!
I think the thing is that it is one thing to point out what the bible says, it’s another to force people to change through changing laws.
When Adam and Eve were expelled from the garden, they weren’t forced to abide by law, they were given a choice.
We’ve all been given choices.
God doesn’t want people to obey those laws because someone made them, it has to be a change that comes from within, one that is motivated by Holy Spirit and love.
The change is something that should come about when the time is right and the relationship between God and an individual has reached that point, and no one, not one other person on this planet can ever change that. You can pray all you want and make laws all you want, but the true change will come when it’s right for that person.
All you can do is offer support and love and trust that the all powerful God can and will work miracles where they are needed and that the Holy Spirit is stronger and more powerful than any human.
Meagan, I agree that no one can force people to change. But, I’m not sure I know what you mean by forcing people to change “through changing laws” though. Indeed we live under grace and not under the law. The law was given just to prove to us that no one COULD keep the whole law! That it was imperitive that we have a perfect Saviour who would provide grace through His shed blood. And that’s where the freedom of choice comes in. We are free to choose to turn from our own way and accept God’s free gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ OR choose to continue living under the law and God’s judgment!
As far as “laws” go we are in many ways still subject to them since we have to abide by laws in our society or else it would be total chaos everywhere! We can’t wait for peole not to obey the laws of the land until they have a change within. If they disobey, they have to face appropriate punishment. So it is with God’s laws. Once we are saved by God’s grace, nothing we can do can ever separate us from eternal life with God. However…..if we choose to keep on purposefully going against God’s will in our lives we will certainly not have a close fellowship with Him.
I’m not for forcing people to accept what God has for them. I believe He gives each one a choice. But I am for sharing what the Bible says about sin with people. Sometimes they just have never heard. Many times when I’ve talked with people about the Lord I ask them what they think it takes to get to heaven. The most frequent answer I get is “doing good”. Then they go on to tell me that they think that when they die God will look at their life and see if they had more good works than bad works. And they actually think that if they just occassionally do a good deed that God will have mercy on them and let them into heaven. At that point I lovingly take the Bible and show them that we can’t be good enough to deserve heaven(Isaiah 64: 6)….but also that we can’t be bad enough that God won’t save us if we come to Him (Isaiah 1: 18). Let’s don’t sit back and hope that our good examples alone will lead people to Jesus! Because sometimes they believe it’s our good works that will take us to heaven. People need to know that they need a saviour because they are a sinner! And LOTS of people do not think they are sinners in this day and age!