The First Great Koziarz Campout

Well friends. Do I have a story to tell you. So snuggle up…this could take awhile. But it’s a good story, you won’t be bored. Promise.

A few weeks ago the hubs and I were talking about the need to spend more quality time together as a family. You know, to bond and to develop our family dynamics.

Well, not really. We just wanted a vacation, and a cheap one at that. [wink]

But, we will stick with the bonding, loving and growing together for this post. Ok? Ok.

So, my Eagle-Scout-Outdoorsy man had this great idea to borrow his friends camper. After all, free is good. Well, I wasn’t going camping unless it involved my feet dug into some sand. I mean, every girl needs her motivation.

And thanks to Mr.Google we were very quickly able to locate a fun and cheap place to park that free camper. So last Thursday we all packed up and headed to Pirate Land at Myrtle Beach. No joke, Pirate Land.

About ten minutes into the trip, I knew we were going to be in for it since there were already blue lights in the rear view mirror. That’s right. Not even out of Charlotte and pulled over. We shall not discuss any further details of this. [Ahem] Because there might be some very unkind words spoken.

Ok, so anyway, blue light special and a car full of three overly excited girly’s, a stressed out momma and a daddy in a rotten mood. Booyah: perfect family building dynamics. We were right on track. [smile]

The trip down there did get better –for about twenty minutes. And then the Kennyboo decided that this trip had been long enough. And thus question of the day began: “Mommy…are we there yet?” [ten minutes later] “Daddy…are we there yet?” [twenty minutes later] “ARE WE THERE NOW?” You get the idea.

Maybe the boo has a future in photography. I don’t know. But thankfully the camera phone produced at LEAST ten minutes of peace. And now…for your viewing pleasure, may I present…the boredest boo on the planet and…the camera phone:

Four hours [have mercy] later, we arrived at our destination. And there was much excitement and anticipation for the Pirate Land! So the daddy got us all checked in and we headed to our campsite. Campsite #156 of you did not disappoint. You were…a campsite!

I don’t really know what I expected. Clearly, I had to know it was going to look like that. Right? I don’t know…sometimes I feel like my roots really are blonde despite how much I pay to make them look this way.

Then, the great task of setting up the campsite began.

Excuse me…do you have any idea how long it takes to “set-up camp”? Longer than it takes Domino’s to deliver a pizza, no mistaking that. Two hours later…mission accomplished campsite #156 was now ready. And now…I could have my toes in the sand. For about ten minutes…it was dinner time.

Camping is exhausting!

That night we tried to get the girls into bed early since they were tired and it started to get really windy. So I did what every good techy camper does –I got myself on weather.com on my phone to see what was coming our way. And SURE ENOUGH, a BIG storm was coming and the fine hour of 1am. Perfect.

Now friends, I have never been through a hurricane. But let me assure you, I do fully understand why now they say, DO NOT STAY IN Campers/Trailers during one. Lord have mercy, I have never been so scared in my life! With all the rocking, shaking, tilting of that camper, the wind blowing, the rain beating down like something fierce, seriously, OH.MY.WORD.

I just kept pulling the covers over my head and praying, “Help me Jesus, Help me Jesus!” I wasn’t sure campsite #156 was gonna make it!

Let’s just say, I was well broken into the camping scene night one.

But the Lord knew that I would be heading home that morning if some type of miracle didn’t happen. And so…he brought some beautiful Carolina Blue Skies and some warmer temps. And this was the result:

And maybe, maybe during those fine sunshine hours the thought could have crossed my mind that this wasn’t so bad. But those thoughts quickly faded into the memory of my mind as night approached and I realized that somehow all three of my girls were going to need a bath.

This was a serious camping issue that I had not thought-out when I signed my name on the verbal dotted line of “yes” to camping. Because
the bathrooms? With the showers? Do I need to say more? No.

But what I was NOT prepared for was the boo’s absolute refusal to enter such facilities. And I do believe that all the Pirate Land temporary residents became well-acquainted with the Kennyboo and her um…scream…as I drug her little sassy-hiney into that germ-mold-infested shower stall. Have mercy.

This look, on the husband’s face about sums it up for day two:

I feel the same way babe. Kiss-Kiss. Love you too.[wink]

Night two was a little better but still involved lot’s of waking up. Because note-to-self: Campers are L-O-U-D. I mean, if the guy in the tent next to you sneezes you totally hear it. And some parents did not mind letting their little people run around like crazy fools. But they all got their payback at the sweet hour of 6:30 a.m. when I let MY youngins run around like wild animals on campsite #156. I don’t sleep…you don’t sleep. [wink]

But there were some very sweet moments. Like when Taylor looked at me and said, “This is the best trip ever.” And I did everything within me to contain my laughter as I said, “Mine too honey.”

God forgives all sinners, even the momma liars. Especially when there are child-hood memories at stake.

And most of the campers we met were super nice. They all tried to make us feel right at home. And I loved seeing my man in his camping element. But, I loved him even more when he said mid-day on day 3, “Do you want to go home tonight instead of in the morning?”

Oh babe. Now you are speaking my language.

And so…we packed up our crew and began the long journey home. I took one last look at campsite #156. We laughed, we cried, we screamed, we sighed…and now we must say good-bye. [cue Hallelujah chorus]

So friends, that’s it. The First [Only?] Great Koziarz Campout. I’m glad we did it…after all, I am a firm believer that you should try everything once. We made some great memories and it was a good time as a family.

And maybe one day our girls will have a conversation that starts off, “Remember that time Dad and Mom took us camping…have mercy.”

The End.